"Curiosity has thrilled the cat!"
End of October is the time I always remember our noble black cat Lucifer, our ‘fallen angel’, the legendary feline daredevil of our rural community. Our precious friend mysteriously vanished one autumn day without a single meow of good bye, never to be cuddled or admired again, leaving us with a sad feeling of loss and uncertainty. Of course we always hoped that some future day, after wining and dining with distant oriental noblesse during an extensive odyssey, he will, out of the blue of his royal blood, remember his cozy home palace and make his way back to our doorstep, with us, his most devoted allegiance in waiting for His Highness' purring return.
I still see him enthroned on the armrest of our scratched leather couch, his erect silhouette resembling a smooth black paper cut against light background, his ark-shaped emperor’s nose sprinkled with orange flower pollen from sniffing the delicious scents in our backyard. In this position the red afternoon sun was reflected on his shiny fur like fiery flames, while his sparkling emerald eyes took account of his entire surrounding kingdom and his loyal human followership.
Here he towered in his full glory, handsome Prince Ali Ababwah, King of the Trash, Ruler of the Alleys and thorn in the flesh of all dogs waiting to tear up feline trespassers in their yards with their deadly fangs!
Our adventurer’s most glorious moments were when he suddenly emerged in his black velvet cloak and 'Zorro mask', after a suspenseful rustle in the backyard undergrowth, chivalrously darted up unto the narrow garden fence, where he continued his highfaluting prance all along the ridge of the green partition to the adjacent plots, casting dismissive glances down at the dogs, who dashed at him from all corners of the neighboring yards. Instantly all hell broke loose at the rascal’s sight. Grrrr haw haw ...A fanfare of vicious growls and ear-battering barks announced the arrival of the wolfish pack’s arch enemy to the entire neighborhood! There, high up above the frantic rumpus of yapping monsters, Lucifer, master of the fiery pits of Hades, performed his tight rope act in front of their angry snouts and bared teeth, the menacing creatures nearly mauling his velvet boots!
The hullaballoo would cause us immediately to jump up and devotedly fill the silver dish of our homecoming hero to the brim with a generous portion of cat food. His Majesty devoured his ration with ravenous gulps, leaving crumbs scattered all over the kitchen floor that suggested a straight lineage to Henry VIII.
At times he even extended his repertoire of sensational, nerve racking daredevil scenes to the lofty rooftops of neighboring houses, not without first paying an occasional visit to the kitchen counters of our unsuspecting neighbors for a close look at the deliciously smelling lunch ingredients. All these inviting aliments simply asked to be licked and nibbled on by our unabashed gourmand, as he was feeding at home on ordinary Friskies alone and his palates always yearned for a more exquisite cuisine.The enticing roasts, soups and deserts prepared in kitchens with open windows naturally draw the attention of Lucifer’s trained nose and sharp claws and his frivolous thefts created an angry coalition of desperate housewives and alarmed watchdogs against him.
They all wanted to see the culprit either dangling from the highest lamp post on the main road or hoped to swallow him alive in one vicious mouthful to end his menacing excursions. With such an army of human and bestial opponents it was only a question of time until our rapscallion met his unexplained fate.
On the other hand, since we once presented Lucifer on his Halloween birthday with a red cloth bandanna, we always suspected he would one day fill it with some items of his prey, tie it to a walking stick and leave us and our dull cat restaurant for exotic adventures. We were even prepared to hear in the news that he had been spotted in a hot Greenwich Village jazz cellar playing the double bass or sighted lying outstretched on a pillow in a Chinese opium den, flirting with the silky feline hostesses of Shanghai. These amazing stories have happened to other cat holders, so why not to us?
And now this incredible story: On October 31 I returned home from work quite late. On the dark path between the garden gate and our entrance door I met the usual commotion of feral cats dining at the dishes we filled for them twice daily. Most of the homeless creatures darted out of my way like black shadows, whereas a few were less afraid, but remained at secure distance. Some of the kittens were even born in our yard and often sneaked into open doors or windows to steal some of the superior food reserved for our house cats.
After entering the house and taking stock of the family members and their activities, I had my long awaited coffee in a daze and I soon fell asleep exhausted on the couch. When I woke up it was past midnight. All others had gone upstairs to sleep already. The windows and doors were locked and the lounge felt hot and stuffy. October had brought heat waves instead of the desired rains.
As usual, our red cat Pandora meowed to be let outside for a nightly stroll. Moaning some slurred curses I rolled up the shutters in front of the sliding glass door and slid one wing open, exactly enough space to let her pass. While Pandora as usual still had to make up her mind for a moment, whether to leave the warm salon or not, a tiny furry ball darted into the room and headed straight for the feeding dishes in the kitchen! I chased after the trespasser, but leaving a tiny door slot open for the thief to escape my chase.
Before I could corner this something into the right direction, another little shadow darted in straight to the kitchen, following the example of the first intruder. After I got rid of the first one, I went chasing after the second, again moving away from the open door, so the whirlwind could make his escape freely without banging into the glass door or other breakable appliances.
This turned out to be bad tactic and I soon realized that I was in trouble! Each time I had cunningly shooed away one fur ball, another invader had already taken to the kitchen. Here each one would rapidly snatch some Friskies and run franticly back to the narrow escape to the garden. First they would return to safety straight away, but after a while they thought it more fun to hide in corners and under tables inside the house, while I was rushing around trying to catch them. Now the rascals even started to enter in pairs, splitting into different directions, while I was busily mopping the others from underneath the furniture.
They would in turn get a chance to snag some Friskies and hide, me in the middle of the upheaval hollering and waving in exasperation. These little devils were playing Trick ’r Treat with me!
Meanwhile my clumsy movements and choked curses had wakened the household's other inhabitants. When the family, one after the other, staggered downstairs, wiping their sleepy eyes in surprised disbelief, they seemed immediately quite amused by the spectacle that presented itself in the dim living room. Each time I tried to chivy some cats out through the door slit with a broom, others would enter helter-skelter by jumping straight over the fugitives' heads!
I must have looked like the legendary sorcerer's apprentice, trying to take control over the endlessly multiplying water buckets I had conjured by an ignorant mistake! Instead of water buckets there were obnocious little fur balls rolling around me!
But now, with all human onlookers present in suspense, we were in for the spectacular climax of this hilarious racket!
All of a sudden a mysterious bolt of lightning struck down into the garden, its bluish rays mysteriously shining through the glass door into our dark salon.
We were awestruck!
A faint Eastern melody accompanied by oriental drums, first muffled from afar, but louder and louder as it approached out of nowhere, brought with it a colorful parade of dancing creatures resembling a lot the illustrious characters of the musical "Cats".
They gathered on the terrace in front of our living room and began sitting down boisterously around our garden table! In their middle towered a very familiar looking tall black cat clad in a turquoise toga, sporting a red bandanna over one of his ears! His other ear was pierced by a diamond studded hoop, which gave him the somehow lopsided, nonchalant aura of a pirate. This was Jack Sparrow with a black cat face!
He was flanked by agile feline belly dancers, their many tits heaving in sequined brassieres, their hips rhythmically shimmying from side to side in rythmn with the ecstatic music. The enchanted crowd around the elegant Moorish centerpiece mysteriously whipped up a glittering table cloth, on top of which emerged miraculously the most appetizing cat delicatessen displayed on exquisite China platters. Red wine flew from nowhere into sparkling crystal glasses and huge pumpkins brimmed lavishly from huge gold rimmed vessels.
This magically conjured banquet was opened by none other than Lucifer, his meticulous profile crowned by a ghostly halo. He imperiously swung his glass in the inviting movement of a toast that caused at once all our cats and feline intruders inside our house to jump out on the terrace and join the attractive feast.
Stunned by this unbelievable supernatural activity we plunged underneath our coffee table and watched the shadow play through the panoramic glass door. None of us dared to breathe; it all seemed too real for a hallucination. All assembled cats toasted to Lucifer the Prince on his traditional birthday celebration on October 31. He waved benevolently at his faithful court in the relaxed manner of true royalty, defying with reassured gestures the noisy barks and snarls of the neighbor's dog, who had of course at once acknowledged his victorious return. Trapped behind fences, their angry comments could not drown out the exuberance of the intoxicating, otherworldly festival we were chosen to host unvoluntarily in our garden this night!
After the jolly company had wined, dined and even played a friendly game of pumpkin ball, they all continued strolling animatedly along the lawn back into oblivion from where they had come, dissolving like a magic illusion and leaving us with our mouths open in awe! As the fancy procession had swept with it all annoying intruders that had previously visited our kitchen and living room, the house was again plunged in peaceful silence with out meows and rumpus. Totally disoriented by the incredible vision of Lucifer's gostly parade we tried to totter back to our bedrooms.
Only Pandora meowed again to be let out on her nightly stroll, as during all the uproar she had not been able to make up her mind whether to leave or stay. This time I didn't give in to her unnerving whims, but drunkenly crept unto my secure mattress under the covers, pondering over the strange Laterna Magica show we had just witnessed.
How could a turbulent round of Trick 'r Treat with obnoxious feral kittens on October 31 get out of hand in such delusional way and lure us into a bedazzling encounter with our long lost demon friend? In a rare paranormal adventure we were given a reassuring glimpse of Lucifer's soundness, happiness and glamorous current life style, dispelling all precariously imagined horrible scenarios of his death we had come up with!
Certainly it wasn't any other ordinary night after all!
( © Sarah Schwarz 2015)